It can be beneficial for parents to have overnight breaks from their babies, even though it can be difficult to be apart from your little one. There are circumstances where you may have to be gone overnight – such as a medical emergency, a business trip, or a night shift. Or you may want to get away for an anniversary trip with your partner, a wedding, or a weekend with friends.
When is it okay to leave my baby overnight?
This is ultimately up to you as their parent. Whether it’s okay to leave your baby overnight might depend on a number of things – such as how your baby’s fed, whether they’re experiencing separation anxiety, and the availability of a trusted babysitter.
It can be nerve-racking leaving your baby’s care in someone else’s hands. But if your baby is with a good sitter or relative who will take care of their basic needs, you have little to worry about.
If you have to be away overnight (due to work or another issue), banish guilt by reminding yourself that you’re doing what’s best for you and your family.
Taking time for yourself and spending time with your partner or friends is valuable, too: You’ll be strengthening relationships and renewing your spirit. You’ll likely go back to your baby feeling refreshed and ready to dive back into parenting.
It can also be good for your baby to develop relationships with other adults, especially family members, good friends, or a regular babysitter. Your baby will be happy to be reunited with you when you return and will learn that when you leave, you will come back.
When can a newborn be away from its mother?
It depends. The first thing to consider is your baby’s ability to eat without you there. A formula-fed baby can be left with another caregiver as soon as you feel comfortable leaving them.
If you’re breastfeeding, it’s important to wait until breastfeeding is well established, which typically takes about 3 to 4 weeks. After that, you can use a breast pump to express milk, and anyone you trust enough to care for your baby overnight can feed your baby from a bottle. Just make sure you’re able to pump enough breast milk ahead of time to supply your baby while you’re gone.
You’ll need your baby to be taking a bottle well before you leave. Give them a bottle regularly beforehand, or have your partner do it – many moms find that their baby is more likely to take a bottle if someone else offers it to them. It can also help to give the bottle in a different location from where you usually nurse.
Have your baby take a bottle regularly, at a set time every day, so it isn’t foreign to them when you’re not there. Consistency is very important. If your baby takes a bottle once or twice, and then doesn’t have one for a few weeks, they may refuse it.
You’ll also want to pump when you’re away from your breastfeeding baby. Whether you’ll be gone for a night or a weekend, bring a pump and aim to pump about as often as your baby would nurse, so your body will continue to make milk at about the same rate.
If you’re traveling, it might be difficult to store your breast milk to bring it home, in which case you might need to “pump and dump.” Dumping your precious breast milk isn’t fun, but it’s better than having your milk production decrease.
You might also need to consider whether your baby has any unique health concerns that only you are used to attending to. If that’s the case, you can ask their doctor for advice on training a trusted sitter to care for them, if that’s something you’re comfortable with.
When do babies start missing their parents?
It’s hard to know when babies start missing their parents in the same way an older child or adult would miss someone (like how you miss them when you’re apart). But we do know that babies can experience separation anxiety.
Separation anxiety causes babies and toddlers to be really upset when their primary caretaker leaves. It occurs once your baby’s brain has reached the developmental stage of understanding “object permanence,” meaning they understand that an object still exists even when out of sight. When you leave, they’re aware that you aren’t with them and don’t understand when (or whether) you’ll return.
Separation anxiety can make it even more difficult to leave your child than usual. It typically happens around 8 to 9 months old, though it can occur as early as 6 months. It tends to peak between 12 and 24 months.
If your baby’s going through separation anxiety, overnight separations may be especially hard. That’s especially true if you aren’t regularly away from them overnight. But if your baby hasn’t reached that stage, they probably won’t mind being left with another trusted caregiver. As long as their needs are cared for, they’ll be okay.
When is it okay to leave my baby with grandparents overnight?
It’s ultimately up to you. If your baby is able to eat well without you there and grandparents are able to take good care of your baby, it’s okay to let your baby sleep over if that’s something you want.
If grandparents are wanting your baby to sleep over, but you’re not comfortable with it or aren’t ready to be away from your baby overnight, it’s okay to tell them no. You should never feel pressured to leave your baby with someone else if you don’t want to.
However, if you’d like to have a break, or need someone else to care for your baby overnight for any reason, grandparents can make great babysitters. If your baby has wonderful grandparents who want to step in and give you an uninterrupted night of sleep or a special weekend away, by all means go for it.
Before you go, give clear instructions and talk about current safety recommendations. Make sure grandparents or other relatives watching your baby know the latest guidelines for safe sleep and car seat safety. Is their home babyproofed? Are they familiar with your baby’s schedule and feeding and sleep routines? Before you go, make sure to check in about these things and any other issues that may some up while you’re gone.
Leaving your baby with an overnight babysitter
Whether you’re hiring a babysitter for overnights or daytime, here are some things to keep in mind.
Choose a babysitter who will follow your requests and current safety recommendations. Discuss things such as feeding your baby, how to use their car seat (even if they don’t plan to leave, they may need to know this in an emergency), and best sleep practices.
If your baby is still having bottles in the middle of the night, make sure the babysitter is aware of this and is willing to wake up and feed them. Whether your baby drinks formula or expressed breast milk, it’s crucial that your babysitter understands how to safely prepare and give bottles.
Choose a babysitter who’s experienced with taking care of babies and knows what to do in the case of an emergency. It’s definitely a plus if your babysitter knows infant CPR.
Be sure your sitter will follow all your rules about having other people around your baby, and that they won’t be smoking around your baby, drinking, or taking any medication that could interfere with their ability to care for your baby overnight.
Definitely let your baby and your babysitter get used to eachother before leaving them together for a long period of time or overnight. This will help ensure that it will work for the sitter, and that your baby will be comfortable with them. If your sitter isn’t one of your baby’s regular caregivers, have them come and spend time with your baby when you’re at home or doing an errand nearby.
Tips for leaving your baby overnight
To reassure yourself, and make leaving overnight easier, make sure to:
- Leave a detailed information sheet with instructions and your baby’s schedule.
- Leave phone numbers for your baby’s pediatrician, neighbors, nearby friends, and other support people who may be able to help if needed.
- Stay in contact while you’re gone and plan to check in and communicate at specific times.
- Plan a video call, if possible.
- Keep goodbyes short and cheerful. Let your baby know you’re leaving, that their babysitter or relative will take good care of them, that you love them, and that you’ll be back.
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