Ready for sex after pregnancy? Here’s what to expect

sex after pregnancy

Sex after pregnancy there’s no exact timeline on when you can resume having sex after your baby’s birth, but experts recommend waiting at least four to six weeks to give your body time to heal. Sex after giving birth may feel different, and it might even hurt if you’re still recovering from delivery. (There’s also a chance you’ll bleed a little, and that’s normal.) Hormonal changes and exhaustion can reduce your libido – you’re definitely not alone if your postpartum sex drive is low. Take things slowly, and wait to have sex until you’re ready.

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Every new mom’s approach to sex after giving birth is different: You might be ready to start having sex two weeks after you deliver, or you may be several months postpartum and have no desire to get it on at all. Although there’s no firm timeline for reigniting your sex life, most healthcare providers recommend waiting at least four to six weeks after you deliver, regardless of whether you had a vaginal birth or a c-section delivery. Your provider can give you the go-ahead at your postpartum checkup.

Just thinking about your first postpartum sex experience can stir up all sorts of questions. Will it feel different than it did before? Will it hurt? Do I need birth control if I’m breastfeeding? Knowing the answers to these questions might take some of the potential anxiety out of having sex after giving birth.

Will sex after birth be painful?

It might. In one study, nearly nine out of 10 women experienced pain the first time they had sex after giving birth. Almost one in four still had some pain 18 months later. New moms who had a c-section or an assisted delivery (with a vacuum or forceps) were twice as likely to have painful sex than those who had a regular vaginal delivery. Their experience doesn’t destine you for uncomfortable sex, but if it does hurt, know that nothing you’re feeling is abnormal.

If you had any perineal tearing or an episiotomy during a vaginal delivery (or even if you didn’t!), you’re likely to experience some postpartum perineal pain. For some women, the tenderness resolves quickly. Others may have discomfort for months after delivery, which can make sex uncomfortable or painful.

Take it slow and easy. Enjoy each other’s bodies without any specific expectations of where it will lead. Try to find a time when you won’t feel rushed. If you’re not sure you’re ready for sex, consider masturbation or oral sex instead. You can ask your partner to avoid your perineum and vagina if those areas are still sore.

Once you feel ready to give sex a try, you might experiment with different positions where you can control the depth of penetration. Using a lubricant may reduce any discomfort you might feel from vaginal dryness. You can let your partner know what feels good and what doesn’t as you go along.

If you’ve waited the recommended four to six weeks and the postpartum sex is still painful, or you feel like you’re too sore to even try, consider talking to your healthcare provider about pelvic floor physical therapy. It’s a special treatment that works on muscles that support your pelvic floor, helps relieve postpartum urinary or bowel incontinence, and can play a role in improving sexual arousal and orgasm. Pelvic floor therapy can help alleviate lots of different uncomfortable symptoms that plague new moms.

Is sex after a c-section painful?

It can be, but for different reasons. A c-section is a major surgery that requires ample time for recovery. The area around your incision will probably be sore and tender for a while afterward, and putting any pressure on that area can be uncomfortable.

That said, you might discover that you’re more in the mood after a c-section than you would be after a vaginal delivery. Some research has found that having a c-section has less of an effect on women’s arousal and libido in the first three months after delivery.

Even if you’re ready to recharge your love life after giving birth, it’s still a good idea to wait at least six weeks before having sex after a c-section to give your body time to recover. You don’t want to risk opening up your incision. When you do resume having sex, consider lying side-by-side or being on top instead of having your partner on top, so there’s no pressure on your wound.

Is bleeding after postpartum sex normal?

The sight of red after you have sex can be scary, but don’t panic. Most likely that blood is just lingering lochia, a normal reddish-colored discharge new moms get after a c-section or vaginal delivery. Lochia should change from red to pink or brown in time, and then clear up by about six weeks postpartum.

A little bit of blood could also be due to tiny tears in your vagina from childbirth that haven’t fully healed. Or it could be a sign of dryness. You may want to wait a little bit longer for sex or use a lubricant.

Check in with your healthcare provider if your postpartum bleeding continues for more than six weeks, or if it’s abnormally heavy. If you’re filling more than a sanitary pad every hour with blood, call your provider right away. A lot of bleeding could be a sign of postpartum hemorrhage.

Will sex after giving birth feel different?

Sex after pregnancy can feel different. Your body is still readjusting to its pre-pregnancy state. For one thing, you might not have as much desire, especially after a vaginal delivery. Part of the reason is changes in levels of hormones that fuel your sex drive. Plus, there might be some lingering pain down there from the delivery, especially if you had an episiotomy.

Your postpartum body is different now, too. Your vagina will be stretched out just after childbirth, but it will start to shrink and regain muscle tone within a few days. Whether or not your vagina returns to its original size depends on a number of factors: genetics, the size of your baby, the number of children you’ve had, and whether you do የ ኪጋል ልምምዶችን regularly.

Adding to all these changes are the demands and anxieties of caring for a newborn. And when you’re anxious during sex, you tend to tighten up, which can make the experience less comfortable.

Is it normal if my postpartum sex drive is low?

It’s common to not want sex in the weeks or even months after having a baby. In the first six weeks after delivery, you’re likely to be exhausted, and possibly sore and overwhelmed. You’re also dealing with the 24/7 demands of caring for a newborn. It’s completely normal if sex is the last thing on your mind.

Hormonal changes can also lower your sex drive. You’re likely to have less natural vaginal lubrication in the first four to six weeks after the birth due to your body’s decreasing level of estrogen during this time. If you’re breastfeeding your baby, this dryness may continue for as long as you nurse. Or it may return slowly as your nursing sessions become less frequent.

There are plenty of other reasons why you may not feel like having sex: Adjusting to motherhood can be stressful or emotionally all-consuming. You may feel less attractive or less confident in your changing postpartum body. You may be nervous about becoming pregnant again, particularly if you’re using a new form of contraception. Or you could be struggling with postpartum depression. Talk to your healthcare provider if you have signs of postpartum depression like extreme sadness, crying all the time, or difficulty sleeping, so that you can get the right help.

If you’re not ready to start having sex again, it’s okay. You need time to adjust both physically and emotionally to the demands of caring for a baby, and there’s no need to rush into having sex until you’re ready. In time, sex can be as satisfying as it was before your baby came along.

Does breastfeeding affect my sex drive?

It can. Sex while breastfeeding might not feel the same as it did before you delivered. Your body releases the hormone oxytocin when you have an orgasm, but it’s also released when you’re nursing, which may leave you with less of an urge to have sex. Falling levels of the hormone estrogen during nursing can dampen your libido and give you less vaginal lubrication than you had when you were pregnant. Using a lubricant can help reduce any discomfort from vaginal dryness.

Lubricants are usually found near the condoms or the tampons and sanitary pads in the drugstore. Choose a water-based lube, especially if you’re using a barrier method for birth control, since oil-based lubricants can weaken latex and cause a condom to break.

Your breasts may not feel like an erogenous zone like they used to, now that you’re using them for another (very important) purpose. You may also find that at times they’re too tender for touching or sexual stimulation. Let your partner know how much touching or sucking you’d like.

You may worry that your breasts will leak at an inconvenient time – and they might. During climax, some women discover that they experience letdown (their breasts leak or spray milk). That’s because the hormone that’s present during orgasm is also present during letdown. If it bothers you, nurse your baby or empty your breasts by pumping before sex. As time goes on and breastfeeding becomes more established, leaking during sex may not happen as frequently.

How soon do I need to worry about birth control after pregnancy?

It helps to plan for birth control before you deliver. Once you give birth, you may start ovulating again at any time, and because you will ovulate before you get your first postpartum period, you can get pregnant if you have unprotected sex during this time. Using condoms until you’ve got reliable contraception in place can prevent an unplanned pregnancy.

Talk to your healthcare provider about what kind of contraception will work best for you now. You may be able to resume using the birth control method you used in the past, or you may decide that something else would work better. Your options will depend in part on whether you want to have more children in the next few years and whether you’re breastfeeding.

Here are a few options to discuss with your provider:

How can my partner and I make postpartum sex more enjoyable?

For one thing, take it slow. Give your body and mind time to recover from childbirth. Here are a few other tips for making postpartum sex more relaxing and pleasurable for both you and your partner:

Make time. Time alone together can be scarce in the early months of your baby’s life. Find a time of day when you’re not too tired and your baby is sleeping. If you find that you’re distracted and always listening for the baby, arrange to leave the baby with a family member or a reliable babysitter for an hour or two. If you can’t do that, then work around the baby’s naps or bedtime.

Try new things. Sex doesn’t always have to mean penetration. Experiment with massage, mutual masturbation, oral sex, or other types of erotic nonpenetrative play.

Use lots of lube. A water-based lube will make for more comfortable sex if you’re still dry or sore.

Communicate. Be open with your partner about how you feel and what you want. When you’re not in the mood, say so, and when you do want intimacy, take the lead.

Keep your sense of humor. Your baby will no doubt wake up at the most inconvenient time. A little bit of patience and a good sense of humor definitely help.

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