There’s no hard and fast rule for when you can have sex after birth, but healthcare providers recommend that you wait at least four to six weeks, or until you get the all-clear to resume sex at your postpartum checkup – regardless of whether you’ve had a vaginal or c-section delivery.
While the risk of postpartum infection from inserting anything into your vagina is highest during the first two weeks after birth, you may still be susceptible to infection for longer. And if you had any perineal tearing or an episiotomy during childbirth, sex may interfere with the healing process. (Also, it’s completely normal if you don’t want to have sex yet, as you deal with hormonal changes and your exciting but exhausting new role as a parent.)
Most of the expert guidance about having sex after birth deals with penetrative intercourse. You may have a different timeline for deciding when to masturbate or have oral sex, since there’s less risk for infection, but it’s always best to wait until you’re entirely ready and comfortable.
Why do you have to wait to have sex after birth?
Your uterus and cervix undergo significant changes during pregnancy and childbirth, and they need time to properly recover. During this healing phase, the lining of the uterus, especially the site where the placenta was attached, is at risk for infection. Intercourse, douching, tampons, and anything else inserted into the vagina may introduce bacteria and cause an infection.
A perineal tear or episiotomy that required stitches can take three weeks or longer to heal, depending on the extent of the tear. If you have sex too soon, it can be painful and it can disrupt the healing of the wound and cause a rupture that may require a surgical procedure to repair. (Don’t forget that not all tears require stitches, and even small tears need time to heal!)
When will I know I’m ready to have sex after birth?
At your postpartum checkup, your healthcare provider will let you know if it’s okay to have sex again. They may do a pelvic exam to look at your labia, vagina, uterus, and cervix to make sure healing is complete. If you had a c-section, they’ll check your incision site too.
Beyond that all-clear from your provider, you know your body best, and you’ll know if you’re ready for sex when you feel, physically, mentally, and emotionally ready. It’s okay if you’re more comfortable waiting longer to resume sex. Many new parents find that amid the exhaustion of the postpartum period, they’re not interested in sex for quite some time.
When you are ready, be sure you’ve figured out your plan for birth control. Women can get pregnant before their first postpartum period, whether they’re breastfeeding or not. Having reliable birth control can keep you safe and help you get in the right headspace for intercourse.
Sex after baby can feel like a whole new experience. Talking openly with your partner about what feels good and what doesn’t can help ensure that your postpartum sex life is just as satisfying after baby as it was before you gave birth.
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