Milk bank FAQs

If you’re not able to breastfeed, and your baby has a medical condition that requires human milk (including prematurity, failure to thrive, an intolerance to formula or allergies), there are ways to get donated breast milk from other moms through a milk bank.

Here’s what you’ll want to keep in mind as you begin your search:

1. 1. As tempting as it may be, best friends (or even casual ones) shouldn’t become “breast friends.” The American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP), La Leche League and other experts frown on moms casually breastfeeding one another’s babies and for good reason: There’s always a risk that your pal could unwittingly pass on a virus or like hepatitis or HIV. There’s also the chance that the shared milk could contain medications if your friend is taking any.
   2. Do consider buying from a milk bank. Unlike an informal arrangement between moms, the milk banks in the U.S. have strict guidelines — guidelines that were set up by the Human Milk Banking Association of North America (HMBANA), an organization of pediatricians and other health care workers. The guidelines regulate donors as well as the way milk is collected and stored.
   3. Calculate the costs and get some financial help if you need it. Buying donated milk is expensive. Although nursing moms donate their milk for free, the milk, which the guidelines state can be obtained only with a prescription from your doctor, costs about $3 an ounce.

Soothing baby’s skin

While older babies are known for their smooth complexions, 3-week-olds definitely aren’t.

Among the conditions that may be keeping the skin your baby’s in colorful but less-than-flawless: red pimples and whiteheads (didn’t expect those until middle school at least?), pink diaper rashes, flaky cradle cap and purplish mottling (not to worry — it’s just a sign of your baby’s immature circulation).

Fortunately, all these baby skin imperfections are temporary. Some, like the pimples and mottling, will go away on their own; others, like diaper rash and cradle cap, will respond well to treatment. Clear baby skin is just around the corner.

Fecal incontinence

Labor and delivery, as you might have noticed, are really rough on your body — especially “down there.” Your perineum muscles and nerves may be stretched or damaged, making it difficult for you to control how and when digested food leaves your body.

Postpartum fecal incontinence usually takes care of itself as your body returns to normal. Until then, here are a few steps you can take to alleviate the problem:

1. 1. Eat a gas-conscious diet. Skip hard-to-digest foods for now (nothing fried, no beans, no cabbage), and avoid overeating or eating on the run.
   2. Do your Kegels. Then do them again…and again. Kegels are just the ticket for tightening up those muscles, as well as the ones that control urine, which may also be leaking these days.
   3. Don’t be shy. Talk to your practitioner if the problem persists. Your health care provider might suggest a mind-body technique called biofeedback or possibly surgery if the situation is particularly bad, which it rarely is.

Newborn care during outings

It pays to be extra careful for the two months until your baby has had her first set of vaccines and her immune system is more developed. The younger your baby, the less time that tiny immune system has had to strengthen. That goes double for infants born prematurely or with other health concerns.

So in those early weeks, avoid crowded areas. Inside or out, keep your baby in a stroller, sling or carrier. And after any outing, clean your baby’s hands with a wipe or wet, soapy cloth.

Baby mixing up day and night?

If your little one keeps mixing up day and night, try these tips:

1. 1. Limit daytime snoozes to three-hour stretches. That way she won’t get into the habit of bunching up sleep during the day. Even though your newborn doesn’t have a naptime routine yet, you probably will want to wake your baby up to eat every three to four hours or so anyway at this age. If you have trouble rousing your drowsy darling, try these tactics: Hold your baby upright, unswaddle your little one, strip off some clothes, tickle those little feet or hands, stroke that cute face, move baby’s arms and legs, or put a cool washcloth on the forehead. If all else fails, try changing baby’s diaper — that’s usually a surefire way to wake up a little sleepyhead. Once she’s awake, keep your little one alert by singing upbeat songs and dangling toys in front of baby’s face.
   2. Make your newborn’s naptime routine slightly different from the nighttime one to help your baby distinguish between the two. Though you’ll want to establish a wind-down routine for naps that’s similar to the one you use at bedtime, adjusting it a bit during the day can clue your baby in that it’s not time to turn in for the night. Keep a shade or curtain open a little, for instance, so the nursery’s not pitch-dark. And don’t go overboard in terms of tiptoeing around while she’s napping, either (though you should do the opposite at night). Hearing some ordinary sounds while she’s snoozing, within reason, can help reinforce the difference between day and night.
   3. Don’t ditch naps. While it is important to teach your sleeping angel that nighttime is the best time for snoozing in long stretches, she’ll still need to fit in some shut-eye during the day. The average baby sleeps at least 14 to 17 hours in a 24-hour period, so lots of that infant rest needs to happen during the day. And be grateful that your baby seems to know how to power-nap at all — it’s a good sign that she’ll learn how to sleep through the night in the not-too-distant future.

Hand washing for friends

Your friends and family are probably as excited to meet your newborn as you are to show your little bundle off.

But be sure to set and enforce this simple ground rule: All admirers who want to touch or hold your baby must wash their hands first — and anyone who is clearly sick or has a rash should stay home.

Blame your pediatrician or your own paranoia, but get your message across. Be especially careful with small children, who could be carrying all sorts of contagious stuff.

Teach them to gently pat your baby’s back or touch her tiny toes, but never the hands or face. And after any outing or social scene, clean your baby’s hands with a wipe or wet, soapy cloth.

Baby’s cries, explained

Most babies pick a fussy period during the afternoon or early evening as their “witching hour” to let it all out and cry for a while.

If the crying is colic (which it isn’t always), it may seem like those babies are in pain. One theory is that colicky babies are also gassy babies, though they might be gassy because they’re swallowing a lot of air from all that crying or because newborns often struggle with gas pain because of their immature digestive systems.

Colicky babies also often seem to want to eat all the time — but sometimes that’s because the sucking is soothing, not because they’re hungry. Using a pacifier can help.

Your baby’s tearful bouts could be a sign that she’s overstimulated. Babies this age often need to unwind with a good cry at the end of the day.

She could also be hungry more often because she’s going through a growth spurt or for some other reason. Try feeding her a bit more and see if that helps.

If your baby does seem to be in pain, check for fever and call the doctor. It’s possible that she’s coming down with something.

But if it’s colic that she’s coming down with, it’s probably here to stay, to some degree, for the next few weeks or months. And if it’s hunger, work with your pediatrician to figure out whether any adjustments in the feeding department are in order.